Diary of a Matchmaker

Istikhara Myths That Need To Go

• Halal Match • Episode 57

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You made istikhara... now you're just confused, dreamless, and wondering what’s next. Sound familiar? If you're in the marriage search scene, you've probably bumped into the mysterious world of istikhara, or worse, been "istikhara’d" (aka ghosted with a religious excuse).

Today we’re breaking down what istikhara is really about: seeking goodness from Allah, not outsourcing your decisions. We’re busting myths and sharing real stories from our matchmaking experiences where istikhara was misused as an emotional escape hatch.

Whether you're about to say yes to a proposal or just curious, this episode will help you make decisions with your heart, mind, and faith aligned. Plus we have a funny blooper for you to enjoy! 

Got an istikhara ghosting story? Drop us a voice message!


Got a dilemma or story? The Single Muslim Hotline is here for you! We’ll play your anonymous messages in future episodes and offer real talk. Drop us a voice note 👇🏻
https://www.speakpipe.com/DiaryOfAMatchmaker

SPEAKER_01:

I did istikhara, now what? I didn't get a dream. I'm so confused. Shouldn't Allah just give me a sign? I thought that was the purpose of istikhara. What if I do get a dream? Should I go talk to a dream interpreter? I mean, she did ghost me the other day. Isn't that Allah giving me a sign this isn't meant to be?

SPEAKER_00:

As-salamu alaykum, I'm Hiba.

SPEAKER_01:

And I'm Zaid.

SPEAKER_00:

You're listening to Diary of a Matchmaker. A

SPEAKER_01:

podcast that will take you into our world as matchmakers.

SPEAKER_00:

We'll share our experiences and offer advice for the single Muslim.

SPEAKER_01:

So let's dive in.

SPEAKER_00:

Bismillah.

SPEAKER_01:

As-salamu alaykum everyone, welcome to another episode. My name is Zaid and on the other mic is my wife and co-host Hiba. As-salamu alaykum. Istikhara is definitely a word that gets thrown around a lot when people are getting married. Unfortunately, it doesn't get mentioned much when we're talking about business, I don't know, degrees or anything, other life important events or decisions. But especially when it comes to marriage, this word is definitely thrown around. Whether it's daisies, Arabs, no matter what culture it is. And you see people on different ends of the spectrum. Some people say, don't put too much emphasis and value on it. Other people say, don't even make a move without doing it. So if you are thinking about marriage or you're just confused about a proposal, then inshallah this episode will benefit you.

SPEAKER_00:

Have you ever been istikhared?

SPEAKER_01:

I feel like that's such a Gen Z word. It

SPEAKER_00:

is, it is, yeah. It's a big Gen Z word. Typically it means that you've been ghosted and by using, somebody using the excuse of I istikhared you.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, yeah,

SPEAKER_00:

I get it. So have you been?

SPEAKER_01:

Nobody that... I don't know. I've never talked to a girl that said, okay, I'm going to do istikhara and then I got ghosted. Okay. So I don't think I have been istikhared. What about you?

SPEAKER_00:

Have you ever istikhared someone?

SPEAKER_01:

No.

SPEAKER_00:

No? Okay. Well, once, actually. I prayed istikhara and I had a feeling that... And I didn't follow my gut feeling. I didn't follow the, you could say, the answer of the istikhara. I went against it. And I regretted it later.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay, all right. I want to hear about this.

SPEAKER_00:

So, you know, I've been previously engaged, right? Right, right. And after, like, the first call with the guy or something, I prayed istikhara. And I got this uneasy feeling. There wasn't any, like, any physical signs or anything. It's not like he said something specific. There was no dream or anything? No, no dream. Just this uneasy feeling. But I suppressed it, convinced myself that no, this is baseless or whatever. And I regretted it later, of course.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh yeah, because you did follow through with the engagement

SPEAKER_00:

and it broke off, right? I remember. But we're going to discuss later, inshallah, in the episode how istikhara is answered. Want to know if this is an actual answer for your istikhara or this is just your fears and your insecurities. We'll get to that, inshallah.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, inshallah. So what is istikhara?

SPEAKER_00:

Istikhara literally means asking for khair. Is, the prefix of is, means asking. So istighfar is asking for maghfira, for forgiveness. Istikhara, asking for khair and goodness from Allah.

SPEAKER_01:

Or the verb template I believe is Istafala. Istafala. I feel so smart right now.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, Istakhara, Istafala. And it's a dua of trust. It's not a psychic hotline. It's a sunnah. Sunnah sahiha. Sahaba mentioned in a sahih. hadith mentioned in Sahih al-Bukhari that the Prophet ﷺ used to teach us istikhara, dua al-istikhara, like he used to teach us a surah from Quran, just emphasizing how important it is. And he used to teach us istikhara in all matters of life, whether it's job, finding a job, whether it's marriage, whether it's starting a business. But because marriage is such a huge decision, people usually associate istikhara with marriage. And in this hadith that you can find and the dua you can find at like the fortress of muslim or any hadith book you can just google it it's a very

SPEAKER_01:

long

SPEAKER_00:

yeah it's not long it's kind of the second part repeats the first part but to easily translate it in English you're asking Allah you're admitting your lack of knowledge your lack of ability your limited perception of the future you're admitting all of that to Allah and you're asking Allah oh Allah if you know that this matter is good for me in my life in my livelihood and in my afterlife then make it easy for me and make it possible for me and put blessings in it for me and if you know that it's not going to be good for me it's going to bring me misery maybe it's going to be good for you in your life you're going to marry this beautiful woman who's gorgeous, but she's going to propel you away from the deen, which is going to be terrible for your afterlife. So if you know that this matter is not good for me in my life, my livelihood, or my afterlife, then take me away from it and take it away from me and guide me to the khair wherever it is. And make me happy with what you decree for me, right? Because sometimes Allah might show us an answer for our istikhara, but we might not be happy with it. Oh, why did this happen? I really wanted to marry her. I really wanted to marry him. And we're not happy. Like you're asking Allah for help, but you're not happy with his help.

SPEAKER_01:

Right, and sometimes the reason or explanation as to why a decision didn't work out is apparent in the beginning, and sometimes it's not. Exactly. Right? Like, we sometimes hear crazy stories of, oh, did you hear about the accident that happened just an hour ago? And I was just there, like, 15 minutes ago.

SPEAKER_00:

Right?

SPEAKER_01:

Or, like, you hear crazy stories like that, right? And... My car broke down and I could have been there for a shooting or a robbery or something.

SPEAKER_00:

That's a clear cut sign, you could say. Right, those are clear cut signs. But it's not always like this. It's not always like that. So before we talk about how istikhara is usually answered, just a quick rundown of how to perform istikhara. Simply, you pray two nafal rak'as, meaning you can't combine the niyyah for istikhara with fard salah, like fajr, two rak'as of fajr. You pray two rak'a at any time of the day you want except for the karaha time the times we're not supposed to be praying like after asr for example and you make the dua the istikhara dua and you do it completely relying on Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala you're not making a conditional dua it's all about intention right so

SPEAKER_01:

just to clarify you pray the two raka'ah nafil you sit down you grab your fortress of muslim you grab your phone you pull up the dua you read the dua and then in during the dua there's a section where you can ask Allah regarding the specific matter yes then you say the matter and then you complete the dua and then you can end with another dua or do you just conclude at that point?

SPEAKER_00:

No, even it's better to like praise Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala before you make the dua of istikhara or after it you praise Allah. You're not just like ordering a pizza, right? You're praising Allah. You're putting your tawakkul. More important than the words themselves is the intention. You're completely trusting Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala to guide you.

SPEAKER_01:

Right, and realizing that you are reliant and helpless.

SPEAKER_00:

Helpless, completely helpless. Yeah, you are completely

SPEAKER_01:

helpless and you need his guidance.

SPEAKER_00:

And you don't need to go to sleep after you pray it. You don't need to, I don't know, do yoga or something like that.

SPEAKER_01:

We'll get into the misuses and misconceptions in a little bit. But yeah, like you said, there's no supernatural vibration or anything like that. And it's very straightforward. That's it.

SPEAKER_00:

So let's be practical. You're considering someone for marriage, because we're talking about marriage. Right. What is the formula to follow in terms of tawakkul, istikhara, research, whatever?

SPEAKER_01:

So let's use our example. Actually, did you do istikhara when we were talking? Of course. Did I do istikhara? I can't remember if I did istikhara. I think

SPEAKER_00:

I did. I think you did. I think we both said, okay, let's pray istikhara and see how it goes.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

So you start with the research. You're like researching this person. Not in a creepy way, of course, but assessing, like you said, assessing compatibility. Maybe you can go check out their social media just to see what kind of content they share, how do they think, all of that, what kind of people they follow. And you consult. You consult trusted people. Maybe you can ask around about this person and the message that they send and the community they are. Maybe families know each other.

SPEAKER_01:

Right, the Quran does say, وَأَمْرُوا مُشُورًا بَيْنَهُمْ Exactly. Right, which translates as?

SPEAKER_00:

Their matter, like they consult amongst themselves on all matters. All right. And you, maybe you're confused, you seek the consultation of maybe your father, your mother, someone who has more life experience, you could say, a scholar. And then... Based on that, you make your decision best to your ability, and then you pray istikhara. that's important I have a friend for example and I've never seen anyone get that many proposals mashallah yeah and the problem I noticed with her or the pattern I noticed with her is she's using istikhara to refuse even meeting people so before even meeting the person she would pray istikhara she's like oh I didn't get a good feeling and she doesn't even move to meeting them or for families to meet

SPEAKER_01:

so So that points to another question then. Is there, like with you and I, there was kind of a stage we reached where we felt like, okay, now we should do istikhara. So is there a stage at which istikhara should be performed? In the example of the friend that you're talking about. It's like she did it way too early, right? Before even meeting the person. So the advice I feel like you're giving is at least meet the person, assess compatibility, do a certain amount of legwork, and then seek Allah's help. But at the same time, can that be... I don't want to... give the wrong advice and say, seeking Allah's help should be the last thing you do.

SPEAKER_00:

No, it's not. Okay, so let me rephrase. Because a lot of times people use istikhara in an emotional way and not in a logical way. Meaning, they pray istikhara in the beginning and then they don't take any steps. They use istikhara to stop them and to limit them. Right? So my advice would be do your due diligence and then pray istikhara before making your final decision. But if istikhara, and especially like in this specific case, because it's becoming a pattern. Right. Yeah, so istikhara is being used in the wrong way.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, I get

SPEAKER_00:

it. Yeah, so... istikhara is not a substitute for doing your due diligence. And due diligence is not a substitute. You're seeking Allah's help, like you said, while tying your camel.

SPEAKER_01:

Right, they go hand in hand. So I do have a question, though. Sure. Is there a recommended time to perform istikhara? I know you mentioned you can do nafl prayers at any point in the day, except the times that it's forbidden to pray, but... Most people, from what I hear, say you should do it after Isha prayer. Right? Is there a recommended time to do it?

SPEAKER_00:

There's no reference to that. There's no base to that in the Sunnah. But I think the people say that is because subconsciously they've linked istikhara with seeing a dream.

SPEAKER_01:

Right. Yeah. Okay. But at the same time, going along that vein, it is, I think, mentioned in the hadith where Allah says that He comes down to the lowest heaven on the last portion of the night. So I would assume that is a good time to make the dua of istikhara to Allah. So you wake up, you pray tahajjud, you do the istikhara dua and seek Allah's guidance.

SPEAKER_00:

Is that fair? That's a good time to make any dua. But honestly, the most important thing when praying istikhara And even in dua in general, isn't the timing. It's your sincerity. It's your intention. Because you could read the dua in the most eloquent way and recite it and sing it and pray the most, like the longest two rak'ahs and wake up for tahajjud and all of that, but your heart is not present, then this is going to be useless.

SPEAKER_01:

True. So how does Allah answer istikhara duas?

SPEAKER_00:

That's a good question. That's where most of the confusion happens.

SPEAKER_01:

For sure. So the most commonly understood ways are through A, dreams, and the second one are external signs. People sometimes get so reliant on dreams being the answer that they think if they don't get a dream that their istikhara failed. So let's expand upon dreams a little bit. Let's say we do get a dream. What should we do with that dream? Should we associate it with our istikhara? Should we seek a dream interpreter? How much value should we give a dream after praying the istikhara?

SPEAKER_00:

So dreams happen naturally every time we sleep, whether we remember what we dreamt or not. And the problematic thing with dream is that you are deciding this dream is a sign or this is maybe just because I overate before I went to bed, right? or because I thought about something. I was thinking about this person, about the istikhara all day. And then the brain, once we go to sleep, starts just going over the entire day and the thoughts that came into our minds. So that's a problem with dreams. It's very unreliable, except if it's such a clear sign. It's such a clear dream that it's hard to overlook. For example, you prayed istikhara. You're thinking about marrying this girl. You prayed istikhara. You saw in a dream that night that on the wedding day, one of your family members died, right? or an, I don't know, an earthquake happened on the engagement day or something like that. It's such a clear sign. Then in that case, you seek, you could consider that a sign. But of course, after, like we said, we're going to keep saying it over and over again. After doing your due diligence. It's not the first thing you do. But, but.

SPEAKER_01:

Not just, but don't just say, Interpret the dream on your own. Seek guidance from a scholar, from an imam or something and say, I did istikhara, this is what I saw. Can you give me some sort of advice?

SPEAKER_00:

Exactly. So I like what you said. Seek advice from a scholar and not a dream interpreter. When I

SPEAKER_01:

say dream interpreter, I mean a scholar who is trained. Now those are hard to find. Exactly. But someone who has some level of training in understanding and interpreting dreams.

SPEAKER_00:

which is extremely hard to find because this field of dream interpretation is just become a way to, a way for, what is the word? Superstitions. a way for superstition, to spread superstitions and just milk people of money. It's a very, very shady, you could say, and gray area.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, and speaking of dreams, Hiba gets some crazy dreams every now and then. One morning she woke up and she was like, you know, I had a dream that was Gaddafi's daughter. I

SPEAKER_00:

don't know why. Yeah, and they were coming for him and I tried to warn him and I don't know.

SPEAKER_01:

Every morning I have to dedicate at least 15 minutes to hearing about Hiba's dreams because somehow she can recall all her dreams

SPEAKER_00:

every morning almost yeah but dreams are very unreliable unless like we said it's a clear clear clear sign that if you mention this dream to anyone they would immediately say oh of course this is clear

SPEAKER_01:

right what's wrong jumping in the sink

SPEAKER_00:

in the sink yes

SPEAKER_01:

Maybe

SPEAKER_00:

that's why he vomited. He ate, drank something. What are

SPEAKER_01:

you doing, man? He was like sniffing around the dry food. There's

SPEAKER_00:

no food here. Come, finish your food.

SPEAKER_01:

Don't wait.

SPEAKER_00:

Because if he's hungry.

SPEAKER_01:

We're not happy with you right now. Here, come here. You're interrupting our podcast. You're stinking, but it's not okay.

SPEAKER_00:

Come here.

SPEAKER_01:

Are you listening to me?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, I'm

SPEAKER_01:

listening. It's hard to do it. Wait, wait, wait.

UNKNOWN:

Don't

SPEAKER_01:

going

SPEAKER_00:

back bismillah The most common signs for istikhara answers are subtle, and you need to pay attention to them. And amongst them is ease or difficulty. So you did your research, you assess compatibility, and families meet, and you see, mashallah, families are getting well together, they like each other. You and the girl, the more you talk, the more you see how compatible you are. Things are just moving naturally and in a healthy way. No hurdles. That's a clear sign. Don't keep asking, oh, does this mean that I should move forward? Or like, what is the answer for my istikhara? That's it. That's the answer for your istikhara.

SPEAKER_01:

On the flip side, though, sometimes there can be hurdles. Like, for example, you're in talks with somebody and you're trying to schedule a time to go over to the family's house to meet. But they've canceled once. They've canceled twice. Now, should I interpret this as a test as a hurdle or an answer to my stikhara

SPEAKER_00:

not yeah not necessarily so if the hurdles are just logistical logistical hurdles then that's maybe just a minor test or just a mini challenge right but if after talking you see that i don't know fight starting happening over mahr right or

SPEAKER_01:

right after you prayed istikhara you a red flag appeared

SPEAKER_00:

a red flag appeared or you suddenly discovered something about his past about her past or families like really started going head to head and then this is more of a sign that this is the answer for your istikhara so Whatever it is, trust that Allah will guide you to the right thing. And don't try to challenge Allah's help. Because you asked for it. You might not like the answer. You might not like the answer. It doesn't mean that you prayed istikhara, you're going to get what you want. No, you're going to get what you need and what's best for you.

SPEAKER_01:

For sure. And just being content with whatever happens.

SPEAKER_00:

Also, another sign could be feeling internal peace or internal discomfort. But that's a little bit tricky because...

SPEAKER_01:

Because you have an internal bias.

SPEAKER_00:

And also because... Especially with guys. Because sometimes peace or discomfort could be actually more of your fear of commitment or your, I don't know, like you said, internal biases and you start interpreting them as peace or discomfort. And also something else to keep in mind, that sometimes the answer is not instant. Sometimes it's going to take weeks for the answer to unfold.

SPEAKER_01:

The point that's worth mentioning here is that after you do istikhara, that does not mean you stop putting in the work. You're still continuing to put in the effort, assessing compatibility, meeting the family, going through the courting phase, asking the right questions. You're still doing all that work. And by doing that work, Allah will direct you in the right way.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. You know, funny enough, subhanAllah, yesterday I tried to match a 68-year-old with a 50-year-old. They're not clients. You could say they're acquaintances and we just try to match them together because they both really want to get married. And they just talked one time on the phone yesterday. And the lady just learned that he has some health conditions. And then this morning she texted me. She said, oh, I prayed istikhara and I decided not to go with it, even without meeting him. Can you find me someone who doesn't have health conditions and who is younger?

SPEAKER_01:

Wait, did you tell me this?

SPEAKER_00:

No, I didn't. Oh, okay. Because I just learned, actually, before shooting the episode. But in this case, she refused even to meet him or to have a second call. Now, that's

SPEAKER_01:

a definite cultural bias.

SPEAKER_00:

That's a culture or a personal bias. But don't use istikhara as an excuse.

SPEAKER_01:

Right, right.

SPEAKER_00:

So a lot of times people use istikhara as an excuse to ghost people. And speaking of ghosting, by the way, Alhamdulillah, we introduced the Single Muslim Hotline where you guys can send us anonymous voice messages, either if you have a question or maybe a rishta story to share or funny story to share about your journey towards marriage. The link to send a message is in the description of this episode. And next time, we're going to discuss the topic of ghosting. So if you've been there, if you ghosted someone... share your story and we'll discuss it next episode anonymously again inshallah so going back to istikhara some people use it as an excuse to just ghost people oh i don't like you anymore i don't like her anymore but let me just blame it on istikhara and um that's something unethical you're using something beautiful a beautiful sunnah to just end your relationship with someone in an ugly way If you don't like the person anymore, if you feel they're incompatible or maybe you're not attracted to them anymore, that's okay. You can end things, but in a more graceful way.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, instead of ghosting someone.

SPEAKER_00:

And definitely don't blame it on istikhara.

SPEAKER_01:

Misuse number two that we've seen a lot of is a fear of commitment. The story you were just sharing earlier of your friend, it's pretty clear that she does have a fear of commitment. I mean, how can you, I would say if I was to give it a number, she's definitely rejected maybe 50 guys at this point. Yeah, easily. Maybe more. And are you telling me you've found a red flag in all 50 guys? Like, come on. There's got to be one. Nobody's perfect. Nobody is perfect. But are you telling me that you haven't found a single guy that has basic religious values that you're not attracted to, that you can't see a long-term relationship with? I find that very hard to digest. Honestly, some of the stories... I really do think it's a fear of commitment.

SPEAKER_00:

Some of the stories she shares with me, some of the proposals, like these guys shouldn't be seeking marriage, honestly. All 50 plus... No, no, no, no. I didn't say all. Some of them. Okay. Some of them. And sometimes the guy's okay, but his parents are like he's a mommy's boy or his parents are just going to turn their lives into miserable hell. And other times, I think, especially those times where she istikhara's before even meeting the guy, I think those cases qualify as fear of commitment.

SPEAKER_01:

But how often does she do that?

SPEAKER_00:

I don't know. But she prays istikhara just when she hears about a guy or she thinks about a guy. Sometimes the guy even hasn't proposed yet. But she thinks about the guy. And it's good to have this sunnah present and active in your life.

SPEAKER_01:

I figured because she's somebody that studied the Islamic sciences. She was your classmate. And I would think that she has a better understanding of how istikhara is done. And that you don't do this prematurely and you just don't use it as an escape.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, but in this case, it's more emotional istikhara. And

SPEAKER_01:

cultural.

SPEAKER_00:

Could be cultural, yes.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. Yeah. So a good example is like someone who keeps ordering food and then canceling because the restaurant just didn't feel right after I prayed. It's not the restaurant, it's you. You're just not hungry, right?

SPEAKER_00:

Exactly, yeah. Maybe you don't want to get married.

SPEAKER_01:

maybe

SPEAKER_00:

you're not ready for marriage and you're just using istikhara

SPEAKER_01:

yeah as an excuse or maybe you just have something to tell your parents like hey mom I prayed istikhara I got a bad feeling I don't mean

SPEAKER_00:

this person is not a good match for me so exactly my friend always uses this excuse that oh I don't feel right I don't feel good about him right without even meeting him yeah maybe it's just Allah telling me no when it's actually your fears are telling you no

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Misuse number three, dream chasing and over mystifying. Like I said before, Stahara definitely gets... um very much linked to dreams and people think if they don't get a dream then their istikhara failed

SPEAKER_00:

yeah or i'm supposed to see like colors in my dream or supposed to be see an angel or

SPEAKER_01:

right like a clear-cut sign and that is not istikhara so sheikh yasser actually has a wonderful youtube video about istikhara and he clears up a lot of misconceptions oh yeah yeah he does and one thing he says and it's totally correct that it's impractical to think that you don't have an internal bias you will always have an internal bias especially if you're a guy guys are immediately inclined to somebody who's more attractive right and so If you're attracted to a person and you are leaning more towards saying yes, then just go with that decision while at the same time praying istikhara and seeking Allah's guidance. And doors will open, doors will close, signs will manifest, things will happen. In our case, alhamdulillah, things just started to open up very easily. Like there were challenges, like you were in a different continent, I was here. You are of a different culture. I'm of a different culture. I couldn't communicate with your parents. There were challenges there. And if those were reasons for us not to get married, then those doors would have closed for us.

SPEAKER_00:

But doors started to open up. Just open up, like unbelievably.

SPEAKER_01:

Like your parents were just very easygoing. The fact that your parents said yes to me over Skype.

SPEAKER_00:

And, you know, just the fact that your mom, so I don't know if you guys know this, Prior to us even meeting, his mom kept praying that he finds a girl from Palestine because she loves Masjid al-Aqsa and she goes, spends Ramadan there. And she was praying he finds a girl from there. And subhanAllah, like...

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, it happened. So in our case, alhamdulillah, doors just opened up. So go with your... Now, I don't want to sound like I'm contradicting myself, but go with your gut feeling. Okay. while at the same time being conscious of red flags, of signs, praying istikhara, and putting your trust in Allah.

SPEAKER_00:

Exactly. Istikhara combines reason, you're doing your due diligence, combines heart, like you said, your gut feeling, what you feel more inclined towards and comfortable with, and Allah's guidance, trusting Allah. They don't contradict each other. Yeah, real istikhara is meant to empower you, you know, and not just make you feel helpless or anxious or that you can't take an action. You know, istikhara just goes back to tawakkul. It teaches you to have full tawakkul. Like we said before, you're not asking Allah for what you want. You're asking him to show you what's best for you, what you need as opposed to what you want. And it builds a spiritual reliance. Like it's not supposed to hinder you. It's supposed to empower you and make you feel comfortable about whatever decision you choose. And maybe, maybe it's not going to end up well like maybe you're gonna pray istikhara you're gonna marry this woman and maybe 15 years later you're gonna end up getting divorced but it doesn't mean that that istikhara failed it means that this was a test that you were Allah decreed for you both to go through

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, that's a good way to put it. So if there's a formula, I would say to describe istikhara, I would say it's due diligence or research plus consultation, which also falls into doing your work. And plus istikhara would equal, I'd say, confidence into making a confident decision.

SPEAKER_00:

Allah says, فَإِذَا عَزَمْتَ فَتَوَكَّلْ عَلَى اللَّهِ When you make a decision, Just put your trust in Allah, like fully tawakkal on Allah and do it. Don't stay hesitant and just not being able to decide and be decisive.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, or commit to your actions.

SPEAKER_00:

Commit to your action decisively.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

So just remember, always make istikhara an integral part of your search and always make it something you'll commit to whenever you are moving forward in getting married. Mm-hmm. and take things from there

SPEAKER_00:

yeah do you guys have some stories istikhara stories for us have you been istikhared or have you istikhared someone let us know send us a voice message check out the link in the description of this episode and we'd love to hear from you guys and see you in the next one

SPEAKER_01:

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