Diary of a Matchmaker

To Relocate or Not To Relocate? That is The Question!

• Halal Match • Episode 88

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Moving for marriage can feel like stepping off a cliff with a parachute you packed in the dark. In this episode, we talk honestly about what that leap actually takes, beyond romance and optimism. Hiba shares her journey from Palestine to Canada and what she’d do differently now, while we unpack the questions single Muslims need to ask before relocating.

We get real about red indicators like spiritualized pressure and vague promises, and green ones like clear plans, financial transparency, and real community support. We also talk careers, power dynamics, and the emotional cost of starting over. Faith matters, but so does tying your camel. If relocation is on your radar, this conversation might change how you think about it.

Click here to download the free Relocation Decision Checklist.

Check out our interview with The Digital Sisterhood podcast here.

If something we said made you think, laugh, or feel seen, leave us a rating and review! It helps more people find the show. And hey, if you know someone who needs to hear this episode, send it their way. Sharing is caring!


SPEAKER_00:

Assalamu alaikum. I'm Hiba.

SPEAKER_01:

And I'm Zayd.

SPEAKER_00:

You're listening to Diary of a Matchmaker.

SPEAKER_01:

A podcast that will take you into our world as matchmakers.

SPEAKER_00:

We'll share our experiences and offer advice for the single Muslim.

SPEAKER_01:

So let's dive in. Bismach. Asalaamu alaikum, everyone. Welcome back to another episode.

SPEAKER_00:

Assalamu alaikum.

SPEAKER_01:

Digital Sisterhood. Yes. So if you guys haven't heard of Digital Sisterhood, mashallah, they're a platform that is doing very well. And their thing is storytelling. And they're, I would argue, mm at this point, master storytellers. MashaAllah. On Spotify. I don't know if they're on other platforms too, but they're doing very well on Spotify. But why are we talking about Digital Sisterhood?

SPEAKER_00:

Because Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah, we were honored, we are honored to say that we were featured on their uh beautiful podcast. Yeah. And uh we shared a lot. We shared a lot. Like I personally, I feel like I opened up in a way I have not opened up before.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, we shared our entire story. So I'd say it was probably in more detail than we shared on our own podcast.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Um, but they did a very good job editing it and enhancing it. And especially towards the end, I was just like emotionally hooked.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, me too. It was it was really worth it. I want to get to know these people.

SPEAKER_01:

So we'll link um we'll link it in the uh description for this uh episode. Yeah. But today's episode is about something that gets mentioned frequently, especially nowadays, given all the turmoil in the world and people trying to expand their options, and that is relocating. It's something we ask all our clients on our registration form. Are you open to relocating and are you not? And I would say most clients are probably not open to it for various reasons. So relocating is something you have to do, obviously. Yeah. And if you guys have heard our previous episodes, Hibas mentioned it many times that she moved all the way from Palestine to Canada. So I'm gonna pretty much let you carry today's episode. Oh my god. Because obviously, I I've never been in the shoes of someone relocating before, and you have.

SPEAKER_00:

Well, actually, you did roll relocate from the states to Canada, but not for marriage. Not for marriage.

SPEAKER_01:

It's different when you're moving for marriage. And I had the safety net with my family, my mom was here, and um You were just you uh moving across the border, not across the world. Yes. Yeah, yeah. So it's much different. So needless to say, there was probably a million questions going through your head. But the thing that stood out to me as we were talking before the episode is that now I do want to caveat this and say that our story is an exception of exceptions. Yeah. Right? Like we're not saying just copy and paste our story and just go a hundred percent all 100% all in into you know a potential marriage, but you had you didn't know a lot prior to moving. Um, for example, like how much I earned, um, or let's say prior to marriage. You didn't know how much I earned exactly, you know, my living, my specific living circumstances. Um we we didn't iron out a lot of details, right?

SPEAKER_00:

Well, yeah, just uh for the listeners, this is not some something that you hid from me. It's just something I didn't ask about. Right, right. So that's that's why we say that like we're not telling you to follow our footsteps because if I had to do it again, I would do it differently. Like Alhamdulillah, it worked out perfectly just because of Allah's tawfiq. But if someone was in my in my shoes, yeah, I would advise them to take things a little bit more carefully and be a little bit more diligent.

SPEAKER_01:

And I think it was for that reason so many of your friends and family were scared for you. Yes. Like your sister was saying, you know, you don't have to commit, it's okay.

SPEAKER_00:

My friend called me and she's like, just you know, when you go there to Chicago, don't feel like just because now you're there and you're meeting the family that you have to do this, we got your back. If you feel unsafe, you don't have to do this. That's my dear friend.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, she's looking out for you. Yeah. Yeah, alhamdulillah. So let's rewind and just go back to when we were first talking. So you mentioned before, I think on previous episodes, that Canada was on your list of countries that were looking to relocate. The the nervousness of relocating to a country like Canada wasn't as much there because you already had hopes and plans to move, right?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, I didn't have plans, but I did I did at one point uh visit an immigration um agency, specifically thinking about relocating to Canada. I applied for a scholarship at McGill and alhamdulillah, I got accepted.

SPEAKER_01:

That's in Quebec, right?

SPEAKER_00:

No, in Ottawa? No, McGill.

SPEAKER_01:

McGill University.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Quebec. Quebec, yeah. Yeah. I got accepted, and then when I got my hopes up and I was so excited, something happened and they just withdrew the entire scholarship. Not just not just from me, like the entire project didn't happen.

SPEAKER_01:

For what reason? They can't they didn't give any explanation.

SPEAKER_00:

I can't remember. It was so many years ago. Wow. Yeah, yeah. So uh what I'm trying to say is I always wanted to move to Canada. But the funny thing is, when we started talking, I thought you were living in the UK because your profile said London, and I did not know there's a London, Ontario.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh. Yeah. So you didn't so honest question. When you were on HOD, you didn't filter your search for Canada?

SPEAKER_00:

I didn't. I f I had other filters, but not specifically Canada, no.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay, so it just so happened.

SPEAKER_00:

It just so happens, yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Interesting. Okay, so let's let's go a bit deeper. Your fears about moving away from family to a place where you didn't have any sort of safety net, anything that was running through your mind?

SPEAKER_00:

Not fears about safety net and stuff, and I should have probably had some fears and had some concerns, but f I don't know. I was I don't know if you want to call it naivete or infatuation, I think. Infatuation or just being so emotional, or I don't know. I I I don't know. So I didn't have those fears, but I did have other fears, like not fears, you could say more like um hesitations. Okay. As an I'm leaving my family, um starting over in a place, I don't know anyone in English, is not my first language. Like Alhamdulillah, I feel comfortable speaking English, yeah, but still it's not my first language. Till this day, even our listeners can notice it probably. I get stuck sometimes, say the wrong word and stuff. So I grew up in this protected environment. You know everyone in the village, you know, everyone in the neighborhood, your cousins, your relatives, all around you, and you have these gatherings and all of that. So I was moving away from that.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, you were leaving a lot behind.

SPEAKER_00:

A lot, yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. And so it's fair to say that usually when we talk about the subject of relocation, it's the girl relocating. Usually. I would argue maybe 90%, 90-95% of the times. And so it kind of gets framed in this way where it almost feels like the guy is benefiting from the relocation in the girl. And I have a problem with that framing because it just creates this unfair like burden on the guy, whereas like, you know, this girl is doing so much for you, this girl is leaving everything behind for you. Well, no, that's not exactly the case. He she is moving to start a new chapter in her life. She is beginning a chapter of companionship and love and possibly starting a family. So to frame it in a way where the guy is benefiting and the guy is getting XYZ, don't you feel it's kind of unfair to the guy?

SPEAKER_00:

No, not not exactly benefiting, but she is taking a chance on him. You can't deny that.

SPEAKER_01:

And he's taking a chance on her. Now, get granted, she is giving up a lot more.

SPEAKER_00:

Okay, she's taking a double chance on him. The marriage and the relocating.

SPEAKER_01:

True, true. I can agree with that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

So yeah, I don't think it should be framed as who's benefiting from whom. Yeah. But there like we should acknowledge that someone is giving up more than the other. No, no doubt. Just because of the nature of that relationship. No doubt.

SPEAKER_01:

So let's address some of the usual fears that come up with our clients when we bring up the subject of relocating. Yeah. Let's just name one that comes up off the top of your head.

SPEAKER_00:

Well, the obvious one is girls usually girls who say no, I'm not open to relocating. And bear in mind, we only work with clients in Canada, the states, and the UK. Right. And actually, most of them are in Canada and the states. So when we're talking about relocating, we're not talking about across the the ocean. We're talking about across the border.

SPEAKER_01:

No, unless in the UK, but even then.

SPEAKER_00:

So yeah, that's that's a separate category. Yeah. But uh yeah, most of the girls who say no, I'm not open to relocating or who have hesitations, it's because they want to know does this guy have a family there? Does he have a support system? If something wrong would happen, will I have a support system? Will I have someone to turn to? Yeah. Or will I be facing this crisis all by myself? And it's a legit concern completely.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, we would never say to take the same approach you did. Absolutely not. Guys, I was crazy.

SPEAKER_00:

I was crazy don't do my it's not a mistake. I'm not saying don't do my mistake because Alhamdulillah, it was it worked out. It worked out, it was worth it, more than worth it. But it's not practical. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. So I think one of the concerns that I keep hearing from clients is the requirement to start over professionally, right? Like my degree, my certification doesn't transfer over, I'd have to start over, recertify, redo my exams. And that's a legitimate concern, right? Of course. And um I think yeah, I recall one of our clients that lives in the UK addressed this. And uh but even then she was still willing to relocate to the states. And um for whatever reason it didn't work out.

SPEAKER_00:

The guy who had his own hesitations, even though she's the one who was taking a bigger chance.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, she was definitely taking a huge chance. So the point that I'm making is that there has to be an element of risk and faith that comes into play. And you have to obviously balance that with your due diligence.

SPEAKER_00:

The question I'm thinking about is the following. Which is more important? And I'm not trying to pass any judgment here because I'm not in the shoes of somebody who's faced with this choice. Which is more important? Getting married and potentially starting a family, being a part of a family, or preserving your uh career, your education that you worked so hard on. Maybe you spent seven, eight, nine years in school, you passed lots of exams, you got your certificate, you you've been maybe in the work field for some time. So, which is more important?

SPEAKER_01:

I think that's an unfair question to ask.

SPEAKER_00:

Why is that?

SPEAKER_01:

Because it kind of just puts someone between a rock and a hard place. You know, both things are important, both things require investment, but to ask someone to let go of all the investment and time that they put into their education for the sake of marriage is a bit unfair without giving proper context.

SPEAKER_00:

Okay. Let me ask it in a different way.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay.

SPEAKER_00:

When you are at your 60s, not you per se. When someone in that position is at their 60s.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay. Uh well, that's that's a no-brainer. Okay, sorry, I interrupted the question. Okay.

SPEAKER_00:

They're in their 60s. They have the career. They're a world-renowned doctor. Or she, specifically, we're talking about the girl because she's the one who usually uh relocates. She's a world-renowned doctor. She's established financially, she has her social serv uh circle, uh, all of that. And she's feeling fulfilled about her career. But she's single, all her siblings are married with grown-up children, her parents long past, and she's alone. No kids, no, I'm not gonna say no support system because she has her family around her, but she's alone. Which do you do you think she would regret this more? Or a 60-year-old who got married, who's in a happy, fulfilled marriage. She has her children, maybe even some grandchildren, maybe she has a career and maybe she doesn't, but she's happy in her marriage. Which one is nicer picture?

SPEAKER_01:

You're painting two extremes.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes, they're both extremes. Exactly.

SPEAKER_01:

Yes, they're both extremes. But that's to uh that's assuming that you can't have your cake and eat it too.

SPEAKER_00:

Okay, so either you stay, you don't relocate, and by Allah's khadar you meet someone else, you get married and stay there, and uh get to have your successful career. Yeah. Yes, that could happen.

SPEAKER_01:

That could happen.

SPEAKER_00:

Or the other ex the other situation is you relocate, you get married, you're in a happy marriage, and you're able to pass your exams, get your certificate certificate.

SPEAKER_01:

Or you're in a miserable marriage and the guy's abusive.

SPEAKER_00:

Well, that could happen whether you relocated or you stayed here. True. That's irrelevant.

SPEAKER_01:

But if you stayed there, then you at least have the comfortability of your home, your family, your education.

SPEAKER_00:

You can always go back.

SPEAKER_01:

It's not easy to all of a sudden just plant roots somewhere else and uproot yourself again, go back, start over.

SPEAKER_00:

I don't know. I'm just trying to I'm just playing devil's advocate right now. Yeah, me too, me too, by the way.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. If you're overwhelmed and burdened and just don't know where to seek help, let us help you. We can be your personal matchmakers. Visit us at halalmatch.ca and book a free call with us. Another concern that comes up when uh we talk about relocation is the power imbalance. Let's take the stereotypical example. Girl relocates from India, Pakistan, the Middle East, comes to Canada or the US for the guy. Now, of course, the power is in the hands of the guy, right? In terms of connections, finances, um stability, immigration, all of those things. She is dependent on the guy. Now, as a girl looking to get married, how do you navigate all these things and um kind of make sure that you put all your ducks in a row before you make that move?

SPEAKER_00:

You make your uh due diligence, you cover your bases, you make sure that you have a plan. Um maybe you have some savings, for example. Like, God forbid the guy gets into an accident or he gets laid off. What is the plan? Does he have insurance, for example? Does he have a support system? Does he have some savings that could last you for a few months until you figure things out or until he finds a new job? Um will you be able to immediately work, have a work permit, and uh support the family until the situation is resolved?

SPEAKER_01:

Right. I don't know if you mentioned this, but does the guy have his family there too? That's a big one. Yeah, it's a big one.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. So just making sure that you're asking these all these difficult questions. Yeah and uh they are difficult. I'm not gonna say they're not. They are difficult, but they are necessary. Just because we did not uh just because I did not ask these questions, it doesn't make it right. So yeah, make sure you cover all your bases.

SPEAKER_01:

So an important thing to tie in, as uh you were mentioning all these things, is that if a girl, if you as a girl, single girl, is interested in relocating and the guy you're talking to is dismissing your fears and concerns as weakness or putting them down saying that it doesn't show that you're interested or committed, or you're not willing to take the leap of faith with faith with me.

SPEAKER_00:

Or don't you trust me? If you trusted me, do you doubt me? Yeah, um, are you serious about this? Um something like that. Trying to uh what is the word they use these days? Trivialize. No, no, trying to what is it called? Uh gas gaslight. Yeah trying to gaslight, make you feel guilty about asking these questions. Yeah, then this is a red flag.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, yeah. Um but let's talk about green flags. So is the is the guy willing to work on a plan with you? Uh God forbid something happens, like you said, he gets into an accident, he gets laid off, you know, medical crisis, whatever it might be, some sort of plan.

SPEAKER_00:

Or is he leaving everything to just leave it to Allah, leave it to leave it to Qadr? Allah will provide. Like of course Allah will provide, but we need a we need to have a plan.

SPEAKER_01:

Right. So there has to be realistic understanding of sacrifices. Have you come across any situation where the girl relocated and the guy suffered because of it?

SPEAKER_00:

Oh. Uh not not that I can think of right now, but I can think of of the opposite situation.

SPEAKER_01:

I'm sure there's an endless list.

SPEAKER_00:

Well, it's more than just endless. It's my dear friend. It's like my best friend. Right. She r relocated to Sweden. Right. And went against her family. Her family didn't want this marriage to happen. Went against her family, and then the guy turned out to be abusive. And she stayed in this marriage hoping it's gonna turn around. Stayed for more than ten years.

SPEAKER_02:

Wow.

SPEAKER_00:

And then she just a few years ago she just went back. And and the thing is, actually, this is very relevant to what we're saying. The guy had no family there. She was all alone. So he was able to just abuse her and manipulate her, exactly. Brainwash her.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

So these situations do happen.

SPEAKER_01:

And we're not mentioning this story to scare you guys, uh, to kind of paint this with a you know a an evil brush. But at the same time, yeah, these situations happen, but there are also many positive situations, like yours, for example.

SPEAKER_00:

Like me, like your like our sister-in-law, for example. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Relocated from Pakistan.

SPEAKER_00:

But you know, actually, funny thing is, in my family, my cousin relocated for his wife.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh, yeah. Well, I I barely consider that a relocation.

SPEAKER_00:

Well, it's across the border from Palestine to Jordan. Right. But uh at the same time, like it was all one country at one point. We were all one at one point. But uh, like he's in a new environment.

SPEAKER_01:

Um culturally speaking, it's not much different.

SPEAKER_00:

I don't know. Just a little bit, at least. At least. So there are lots of successful stories, and there are stories that will teach you to just be aware.

SPEAKER_01:

Definitely.

SPEAKER_00:

Another thing to be cautious of if if the guy is trying to like use spirituality to pressure you into making the decision to move. So he could say something like, uh, isn't like don't you have a strong iman? Where is your tawakkal? Uh just pray ishara, and uh that's it. But he's not offering a plan. Because tawakal is not a substitute for a plan, it's not a substitute for akhadbal as bab, like tiny your camel. Right. So if you start noticing he's using this language, um something to think about.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, it's also not a substitute for Istihara. Exactly.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. So like if you're praying istihara and you're going with the istihara without, like we said, doing your due diligence, then that's not istihara.

SPEAKER_01:

No, it's not go back to our episode, I don't know what episode number it is, but we Dedicate an entire episode to Istikhara and how we generally speaking misunderstand how Istikhara is implemented and understood. But definitely check out that episode.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. There's also the complication when relocating, the complication of uh the immigration process that we can like immigration is becoming difficult all like all across the world.

SPEAKER_01:

Even here in Canada, it's like I have employees that are waiting now for their PR card much longer than what you and I had to wait for. Yes, yes. Like the wait time has become triple just within the past few years. It's crazy. Yeah. It was so smooth back in I moved to Canada back in 2016. And uh yeah, alhamdulillah was a very straightforward process. I did hit a few bumps, um, but the wait time was not as ridiculous as it is now.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, so that's another legit concern. And sometimes the person who has this concern is not the person relocating, but the other person. So the guy, he might be thinking that um and I think we discussed this in a previous episode about marrying from back home, which is I'm gonna invest uh in this relationship in this person. What if she just comes here, gets her uh resident permanent residency, gets her passport or citizenship, whatever, and leaves me. And we just recently spoke to someone who was in that exact situation.

SPEAKER_01:

It was like this girl completely flipped. She did a total 180 right after she got uh married.

SPEAKER_00:

No, right after she got married. Oh, she got the visa visa. Visa, yeah. So that's another thing to think about. You know, we should dedicate an episode to this topic. People who flip.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. Oh, we say girls have a crazy switch. Well, where is your crazy switch?

SPEAKER_00:

You haven't pressed on it yet. But no, we hear a lot about men who just leave. Men who don't even divorce, they just pick up and leave, leave their wives, leave their hus their uh kids.

SPEAKER_01:

And on the other end, girls like the story we just shared who flip.

SPEAKER_00:

Well, it sounds like this girl came in bad faith. It's not that like something happened and she flipped. It sounds like it was all planned. Allah knows best.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, yeah. Another legitimate concern, although it's not it doesn't place as much weight and value as your education career, but your family and friends. Um, people that you've grown up with, your social support. You were giving that up, right? When you were moving.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes, I think for me it was easier than other girls because I wasn't the overly attached type. Like Alhamdulillah, I have many loyal, good friends that I'm still in touch with until this day. Yeah. My mom, my dad, my sister, my cousins and relatives and stuff, which I love dearly. But I've never been the type who's like overly attached, and it might be because I spent five years living in Jordan. So I got you by the time we met, I got used to it. It might be that Allah was preparing me. I don't know. But but you know, like some people every time they travel, they start crying and get emotional. Every time they have to say goodbye, it's it's heartbreaking and stuff. My mom is like this. I've never been the type.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, I think that's a good point you made that when you moved to Jordan, it felt like Allah was preparing you. And the same thing with my sister-in-law, too. Like she moved to Spain, got a job offer, and uh became a very independent person and um worked there for I believe a few years before she she married my brother. Um so I'd say going through that transition period is very important. And if you're a girl that is just going straight from living at home, let's say you're community to university from home, uh dependent on your parents, don't know how to feed yourself, don't know how to do many things for yourself, then all of a sudden you're uprooting yourself and um moving across the ocean to go live with your husband, that can be way more traumatic and difficult than somebody like you and my sister-in-law.

SPEAKER_00:

Absolutely. Yeah, you know what? I remember the days leading up to my leaving day. So my mom my mom was a wreck. My mom was a complete wreck. Like God, I feel so bad for her, like the way she was. But I held it and I didn't show any emotions, honestly. Just emotions of regardless just emotions of happiness, excitement, like uh butterflies and all of that. I held it until I as much as I could. And then on our way to the airport for me to leave to Canada, I just completely broke. Oh I broke and started just crying and shaking, and and my dad was like, um, like, why are you doing this? Like, calm down, it's okay. And I'm like, Why are you doing this?

SPEAKER_01:

Why are you crying? You know how dads, right?

SPEAKER_00:

So I'm like, just let me cry. If I don't cry now, when am I gonna cry? At the end of the day, it's not an easy decision. No, it's not an easy decision. But for the right person, oh yeah, it's worth it.

SPEAKER_01:

So, in terms of what we would advise, if you are if you are somebody that's being asked to relocate, I would say go through a transition period where you are living on your own or if you're able to.

SPEAKER_00:

That's not the always feasible example.

SPEAKER_01:

But it that's why I said if you're able to, right? Like if you're going to university, um, just like, or even if you have to live at home, start doing things more at home, whether that's cooking, cleaning, just showing a level of independence, taking care of your finances, taking care of all the things that your parents would normally be taking care of. Yeah. All right. So that you're not coming, you're not being thrust into an environment where you're completely dependent on someone else. Yes. Right? Yes. So that's my number one kind of giveaway to anybody that's single that has that's considering relocation. Yeah. Anything else you would suggest to somebody that is being asked to move or I mean to relocate?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. Be clear about your intention and your motivation to do this. Are you doing this out of desperation? Because you're getting maybe a little bit older, you're not getting any proposals, and this sounds like an opportunity. Or are you doing this because this person genuinely aligns with you? You're compatible, you can see a future with him. That's a very good, like important distinction to make. If you're moving out of desperation, it's not a good thing. It's not it's not a good thing. Uh also normalize asking questions. Don't feel bad about asking questions. Of course, not in an interrogative way, not in a way that would make him feel defensive, but in a way that will uh offer you clarity and just put your mind at ease. And if you notice hesitancy answering these questions or he's evading, giving you direct answers, then it's something to think about. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

And sorry, you're gonna add something else?

SPEAKER_00:

Something we mentioned before, but it's very important. Support system. Will you have a support system there? Will the guy help you integrate into the new environment, build help you build a community around yourself or be a part of a community? Or is he the loner type who's expecting you both to just stay together all the time? You're not gonna have any friends, you're not gonna have any opportunity to form relationships. Because as exciting as it is, marriage and starting a new relationship, you need more than that. And the guy as well, you both need more than that. You need a circle of friends. So will you have the option to do that? Or will you be relocating to, I don't know, a deserted place?

SPEAKER_01:

Right. So two things I want to add. Number one, this is where you do istikhara, where you address these concerns, you ask all these questions, and then you perform istikhara. Yeah, and number two, the caveat to all of this is that yes, these things are important, but also understand that whether you're getting married domestically or internationally, it does require a leap of faith. You have to put your trust in Allah at some point. You know, you could have your your million checklists, and actually, is this a place to mention it? We're gonna be sharing a PDF document.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, check out by the way, the description of this episode, we're linking um checklist of things that if you are in that situation, that will help you make your decision in a more practical way. Yeah. So make sure to uh check out that checklist, download it, and uh hopefully it'll be useful.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, so remember this checklist or any checklist you use, that's just a tool. Right? It's meant to guide you, but not not it means to be a determining factor. Exactly. Yeah. Right? Because like I said, any decision with regards to marriage is a leap of faith, and you have to at some point, after you do your due diligence, put your faith in Allah. Yeah. Alright? Now let's flip it. Yeah. If you are the person asking someone else to move, what should you do?

SPEAKER_00:

Uh be open to answering their questions openly.

SPEAKER_01:

Uh have a deeper reservoir of empathy.

SPEAKER_00:

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01:

Um I think understanding that she will be very dependent on you and uh not taking that for granted.

SPEAKER_00:

And uh not underestimating this. Like you don't want to be in a situation where I don't know, after she comes and you suddenly you realize what a big responsibility this is.

SPEAKER_01:

Right. So when you came, that was when restrictions became tighter. Flight restrictions were super tight. And you so you landed, you had to stay in a hotel for three days, the cost was just ridiculous for uh for everything. And then even when uh finally I was able to come pick you up, you had to stay at home for I think it was two weeks. Ten days. Or ten days. And so I think I cleared my work schedule or a good portion of my work schedule to just spend some time with you. Yeah. And uh just to and of course the apartment wasn't the way you liked it. That's okay. But like And then there was, of course, every girl wants to organize and decorate the apartment or the house the way she wants, so there was some time to do all of those things.

SPEAKER_00:

But Inshallah, you won't find yourselves in a situation with uh uh COVID and restrictions and stuff, but it was wild. It was wild, but just be prepared for for the responsibility, at least for her to be dependent on you for a few months and appreciate the sacrifice she's making.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, for sure. Yeah. As a reminder, guys, yes, our story is an exception. Alhamdulillah, you know, Hebad took a larger than normal leap of faith on me on just uh coming to a foreign environment. Um so we're not trivializing the act of relocating. It's a big step. And it shouldn't be taken lightly, whether you're the guy relocating or the girl relocating. Now, generally speaking, it's the girl. Um, but definitely use the PDF that we've provided for you to help guide you. And if anything resonated with you, as always, please leave a comment. Let us know uh what you connected with, what you might disagree with.

SPEAKER_00:

Or if you prefer something more private, we're always available through email info at halalmatch.ca if you have questions or if you want to share your story. And we're always available. We'd love to hear from you guys.

SPEAKER_01:

Until next time.