Diapers, Downloads, And Disrupting The Zionist Mayor!

A lot can change in two months. You go from planning your next episode… to holding a newborn, running on broken sleep, and rethinking what “showing up” even means. And then there are those moments in the community where you’re forced to decide… do I stay quiet, or say something and deal with it after?

This episode is just us being real. What the break actually looked like. How life shifted. The kind of moments that don’t show up in captions but shape who you become.

If you’re single, this is the side of life and marriage you don’t always hear about. Not the highlight reel, but the real decisions, pressure, and growth that come with it.

We’re back. And we’re easing into it with this one.

If something we said made you think, laugh, or feel seen, leave us a rating and review! It helps more people find the show. And hey, if you know someone who needs to hear this episode, send it their way. Sharing is caring!

Transcript

Welcome Back And Big Milestones

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Assalamu alaikum. I'm Hiba.

SPEAKER_01 0:02

And I'm Zayd.

SPEAKER_00 0:02

You're listening to Diary of a Matchmaker.

SPEAKER_01 0:05

A podcast that will take you into our world as matchmakers.

SPEAKER_00 0:09

We'll share our experiences and offer advice for the single Muslim.

SPEAKER_01 0:12

So let's dive in. Bismillah. Assalamu alaikum, everyone. Welcome back to another episode of Diary of a Matchmaker.

SPEAKER_00 0:21

As salamu alaikum.

SPEAKER_01 0:22

We are back.

SPEAKER_00 0:23

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 0:24

Taking, we've taken about two months off. I think maybe a little bit more than that. But we're happy to be back.

SPEAKER_00 0:30

Yeah. If you were wondering if we're dead or alive, we are happy to announce we are alive. These are our real voices.

SPEAKER_01 0:36

And it's not AI. It's really hard to tell the difference these days. Yeah. Yes, it is. But there's so much to share with you guys, so many updates, including a newborn, things, something that happened on Eid Prayer, which I'll share in a bit. But a huge milestone that's worth sharing is what?

SPEAKER_00 0:54

Alhamdulillah, we hit 10,000 downloads. Actually, as of today, 10,169 downloads, all uh because of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and because of your continuous support, uh, you're coming back, downloading, listening, supporting. So thank you guys.

SPEAKER_01 1:10

Thank you, thank you. I know it it's not that big of a number when you compare to like Joe Rogan of Diary of the CEO, who probably get 10,000 downloads a second. But Alhamdulillah was celebrating the small achievements and uh we're grateful for that.

SPEAKER_00 1:21

We're two years in, actually. Did you think we'll go for two years?

SPEAKER_01 1:24

Definitely not. I didn't think we would get past maybe 20 episodes, mainly because I didn't think we had the discipline. And uh, I mean you already know this, most podcasts fail, not because of lack of content or creativity, but because there's just no consistency.

SPEAKER_00 1:38

I think if it was just you or me, uh it would have wouldn't have lasted that long. But because like we hold each other accountable and we motivate each other.

SPEAKER_01 1:49

Yeah, uh honestly, I have to give credit with credit, so you've been mostly the driving force, planning for episodes, doing all the editing. Um yeah, I might like contribute an idea here and there, but like alhamdulillah, you've been really doing 90% of the work.

SPEAKER_00 2:02

Yeah, but a lot of times like I don't feel like recording, but you're like, no, we need to record, we need to release an episode this week. So alhamdulillah, it's uh teamwork.

SPEAKER_01 2:10

Yeah, alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah. And of course, like you said, um a huge thank you to people who have been consistently listening and showing their support. So where do we start?

SPEAKER_00 2:20

Where did we leave off, actually?

SPEAKER_01 2:22

Uh well let's start with Ramadan. So, Ramadan, like we do every year, I mean it's only been about two years, but we take a break. Um, as you can imagine, we put a lot of time planning, researching sometimes for these episodes. So, of course, fasting and doing all of that is just too much for us. So we we we took a break intentionally for Ramadan and it just allows us to reset and refresh uh for when we come back. Olive Ramadan, you were pregnant.

SPEAKER_00 2:46

Yeah, I was in my ninth ninth month.

SPEAKER_01 2:49

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_00 2:50

And uh it didn't feel like Ramadan to me. I wasn't fasting, of course. Yeah, if you're not fasting, you're not waking up for sure, you're not like enjoying iftar and stuff. It doesn't feel like Ramadan. Even Taraweeh, I was barely able to pray just a few days. I was so tired.

SPEAKER_01 3:06

Yeah, and I thought we would be in the hospital that during Ramadan. But you oh we'll get into that, like we'll kind of share that a little bit. Uh but Ramadan went well, alhamdulillah, like no medical emergency, no nothing bad happened. Um honestly just went by so fast, like it was here and then it was gone.

SPEAKER_00 3:25

I think this was the fastest Ramadan to go. Like everyone we ask says the same thing. Yeah, it just went so quickly.

Calling Out A Zionist At Eid

SPEAKER_01 3:31

It did, it did. And then Ramadan went and then Eid came and uh something something happened on Eid.

SPEAKER_00 3:38

Do share. So basically you made the scene.

SPEAKER_01 3:41

Yeah, but I I want to caveat this very carefully, and I just want to say that a few things I want to share. Number one, I don't want to share this to to gloat or to brag about what I did. Um, but the reason I'm sharing this is to hopefully give you guys maybe some sort of motivation, maybe inspiration, uh, and um and just kind of remind you guys that you know matter how big or small our role is in the community, we can do something, right? Yeah. Whether that's boycotting a bottle of Pepsi or speaking up uh against something that is just visibly wrong, we all have a role to play when when we talk about speaking up against oppression. Okay, so what happened? So what happened? Uh so and you know what? Also, I'm gonna say the organization's name uh because this is public information, and uh when people do such actions, they deserve to be shamed and outed. So I will be saying the organization's name that did this.

SPEAKER_00 4:38

I hope they're not gonna sue for defamation.

SPEAKER_01 4:40

No, there's no defamation because it it actually happened. Okay, they did this. Okay and they did it willfully and intentionally. So I'm gonna share all the details. So um this organization um is called the Muslim Society of Guelph. Um, they are the probably the biggest masjid in the city of Guelph. Uh for the past few years they have been inviting a um Zionist, our our mayor actually, Chaim Guthrie, to the Eid Prayer. Every year they have been inviting him. And um for the past few years uh I've been noticing that, and I haven't been saying anything, but at some point a group of Muslims did approach the board and said, you know, um this is unacceptable, you shouldn't be inviting a Zionist. Um we should be, you know, uh playing uh a huge role in speaking up against uh you know what Israel is doing, against the genocide, and at the bare minimum not inviting a Zionist to speak at our special day. Uh and so the the meeting I wouldn't say it was exactly fruitful, they didn't really take us seriously. This is last year. This is last year. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:46

And uh and besides the meeting, a lot of us wrote emails. Yes. There are other groups as well who approached them and demanded they stop inviting him.

SPEAKER_01 5:55

Yes. So the point worth sharing is that they knew he's a Zionist Um and uh that they were not they weren't ignorant to this.

SPEAKER_00 6:03

And they knew that the community didn't want him there.

SPEAKER_01 6:05

Exactly. So going into Eid Prayer, I had a feeling they were going to invite him. And I was mentally preparing myself to make a scene to do something. So they rented a banquet hall, I showed up, and I assumed that the mayor would be that the second prayer. So when I get there, I see some white people, um, important figures, sitting at the top row to the top right. And I looked over and I thought, and I could see him from the corner of my eye, and I said, Okay, today's the day it's gonna happen. So before the E prayer started, they first invited the MPP, who is the member of parliament for the provincial government, uh, who is Mike Schreiner, and he's attended some of our events before, and he is somewhat pro-Palestinian, so I didn't have any issue with that. And then after that, Cam Guthrie came up. And as soon as he took the mic, I stood up and I said, This man is a Zionist. I yelled uh from like the fourth row, and I said, This man is a Zionist, he's not welcome here. The Muslim Society of Guelph knows he's a Zionist, they have invited a Zionist to speak at here at your special day as a community. Are all of you okay with this? And I just kept going, I kept going, I kept going, and I didn't stop. And of course, and of course, all heads turned back and looked at me. And uh some of the brothers like kind of grabbed me by the arm and tried to escort me out. And I said, you know, you guys don't have to be rough with me. I said, if you guys want me to leave, I'll leave. Well, I I'm happy to leave. But if you're gonna let me stay, I'm not going to stop speaking while that man up there is speaking. So Cam finished his long speech, you know, his hypocritical speech about unity and peace and love and global peace and whatever, all that nonsense that they spew while they support Zionism. Um, and um and so he finished his speech, we did the prayer, and then after the prayer, people approached me, and it was like, I would say it was 100% supportive of everything I just did. Yeah, nobody had any issue with that. One guy was like, you know, you should have taken a different approach, a more political approach. I said, you know, I don't this isn't time to be political. You know, this is time to speak out. So some people were surprised to know that the that the mayor is a Zionist that the Muslim Society of Gulf knew and that they invited him intentionally. So it was kind of a learning experience for the for some of the community. Some of them just came and hugged me. And uh I wish I was there. Yeah, I mean, I should have taken your advice and given my phone to somebody just in case, like, you know, I got arrested and that person could have recorded what I did, but I didn't do that. But as you can imagine, like this is not in my nature. I'm not like a very hostile kind of person. But I I forced myself to do it. I was sweating bullets. I was like, God knows what's gonna happen. I have a newborn coming, so maybe I'll get arrested, maybe I won't. But alhamdulillah, everything uh went well, people you know showed their support, and uh it was it was a nice way to really kind of um be a source of inspiration for the community, you know, motivate people to um to do something against what's happening.

SPEAKER_00 8:59

And right now let's take a short break to turn to our crying baby, and we welcome back.

SPEAKER_01 9:18

So alhamdulillah it went smoothly. I came home, I told Hiba, um, and um you know it was just one of those moments where I felt like you know, I had uh stepped out of my comfort zone, like way beyond my comfort zone. And um and the fact that I got so much support from the community for doing this, uh it felt good. It felt good. And it was just a reminder, like I said in the beginning, that you know, the easy stuff is is boycotting Pepsi and Coke, right? That's uh that's that's a given. That's the easy stuff, but we're so deep into this genocide now, we're just so far into it with no accountability, no, no end in sight, that we have to go beyond just the bare minimum. And uh I felt like this was me doing that as best as I could. And like I said, it's a reminder that you know we we shouldn't be in fear of organizations, whether it's like our local Muslim community, whether it's our government, especially given the fact that we live in the West, right? That we have certain privileges, and we are not at risk of going to jail for doing these things. So there's no reason for us to live in fear. Yeah, you know, the the thought that, oh, what will he or she think of me by doing this?

SPEAKER_00 10:29

Yeah, absolutely.

Newborn Layla And Parenting Surprises

SPEAKER_01 10:31

Um, but yeah, where do we go from here?

SPEAKER_00 10:35

Well, what happened after Ramadan? After AI.

SPEAKER_01 10:38

Oh, yes, the newborn, of course. Yes. So six days, so it happened on Friday, and uh Tuesday you started going into labor, right? And uh you started feeling the contractions Wednesday night. We went to the hospital, they said no, you're not um that far into your labor yet. Yeah, and they sent us home, and then when your water broke at home, and then we came back to the hospital, we got admitted. We got admitted at 3 a.m. on Thursday, and then Thursday at 10 14 p.m., baby Layla was born.

SPEAKER_00 11:12

Yeah, which uh is sitting right now behind the mic, and she's sharing her wisdom with you guys.

SPEAKER_01 11:18

Oh, yeah, wisdom of sleep and food.

SPEAKER_00 11:21

Sleep and food and poop.

SPEAKER_01 11:23

Yes, all of that. Yeah. Um, so yes, alhamdulillah, we're very blessed to have a baby girl, um, all because of the prayers of our parents, um and the support from the community. I mean, I could dedicate another episode to just that. Absolutely, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 11:36

It's been just mind-boggling.

SPEAKER_01 11:38

Yes, the the amount of gifts that we've received, people just coming to visit, um, people just showering us with support. And can I come uh do your dishes? Yes, I was just about to say one of our friends offered to come wash our dishes.

SPEAKER_00 11:49

Can I come buy you groceries? Can I like it's really I didn't know about the groceries part, but that that's amazing.

SPEAKER_01 11:54

Yeah, it is, it really is. So why don't we just share a few reflections about us as parents? Um you know as parents at this age. At this age, and kind of our mindset as parents. And the one of the things that we talked a lot about is that how we want to do things differently than our parents, right?

SPEAKER_00 12:12

Um not to say that our parents did a bad job, but like we are forever grateful for everything they did.

SPEAKER_01 12:18

Yes, they did the best they could given their circumstances, given the time that they were living in, all of those things. Um I was born in the 80s and um of course things were different then. I mean, no computers and no cell phones and a thing like that, access to internet, and it's like you get like chat GPT for the smallest question that you have, right? Yeah. So what's one thing that you would say you want to do differently than your parents?

SPEAKER_00 12:44

Um discipline with um compassion.

SPEAKER_01 12:50

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 12:50

Yeah. Like the way we w we were brought up, you didn't feel the compassion in the discipline. It was more like a punishment. It was like uh I don't know, you did a crime, you go to jail to pay your dues.

SPEAKER_01 13:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:04

I'm sure it came from a place of love, but it didn't transpire.

SPEAKER_01 13:10

Yeah, yeah, I get what you're saying. I get what you're saying. That part is different, and I think the reason people resort to that is because they don't come in with a sense of knowledge and preparation. Yeah. And they think I feel like a lot of parents just come into parenting with a kind of uh a lovey-dovey romantic notion. Yeah. Like everything is just gonna be oh, so beautiful, and she's gonna be so cute, and I'm just gonna shower her with love, and she's gonna be this perfect, obedient child. Yeah, but she's gonna wake up one morning and say, No, I don't want to go to school. No, I don't want to eat your your your disgusting food. It's like, but that's all we have for today for dinner. Well, I don't want to eat that, make me something else, you know. Like those days will come.

SPEAKER_00 13:50

Actually, that's so funny. Because like, if we would say something like this growing up, my mom, my mom and my dad would say, No problem, that's what we have. You don't want to eat, don't eat.

SPEAKER_01 13:59

Like, I shouldn't credit your parents to do that. I might do the same. I will I'll be honest.

SPEAKER_00 14:04

I I won't, you know why? Why? Because even as children or as babies, they still do have some prefer preferred tastes, things they like, things flavors they like, flavors they don't like, just like they're still developing their taste buds though. No, but just like us as grown-ups, like there are some certain foods we wouldn't eat, right? So yeah. Um better respect their choices.

SPEAKER_01 14:26

Okay, we agree to disagree on this one. Um but okay, what has surprised you as a new parent? Something that you didn't see coming.

SPEAKER_00 14:35

Things that I didn't see coming.

SPEAKER_01 14:38

Okay, why don't I answer that one first?

SPEAKER_00 14:40

I think I know what you're gonna say.

SPEAKER_01 14:41

Yes. I didn't know babies need to be fed every two to three hours.

SPEAKER_00 14:46

Oh god.

SPEAKER_01 14:48

Like nobody told me that.

SPEAKER_00 14:51

All those videos I sent you about like education and that was all about the labor part.

SPEAKER_01 14:56

Oh, yeah. Yeah, the postpartum one videos you never told you never sent to me. Yeah, but anyways, I assume the sleepless nights was just because of the crying and the diaper changes and stuff. But apparently, according to the midwife, feeding comes before sleeping. So you have to wake up every two to three hours and feed your your child uh because they are very high risk of losing weight uh if they're not kind of keeping up with this um certain feeding schedule. Yeah. So yeah, that was a bit of a learning curve. Um, it still is. We're still trying to figure out her feeding schedule. I mean, she at this point we're kind of letting her lead the queue.

SPEAKER_00 15:33

Yeah, I think we have a good routine by now.

SPEAKER_01 15:35

Yeah, yeah. That was the biggest surprise for me. Yeah. What about you?

SPEAKER_00 15:39

Uh how challenging breastfeeding is, at least in the beginning. Now it's like more natural. Yeah. But in the beginning it was a real struggle, as I'm sure it is for like most moms.

SPEAKER_01 15:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:50

Yeah. Also, I didn't realize how many things you need to pack for an infant when you need to go out, even if it's like you're going out for five minutes.

SPEAKER_01 15:59

Oh yes. That's it.

SPEAKER_00 16:00

It's like takes like a half hour preparing to go out for five minutes.

SPEAKER_01 16:03

And uh and on top of that, you have to time it very carefully. So we kind of had a I wouldn't say a panic attack, but uh, you had a bit of a panic attack just a few days ago. So it's very important that you time the feeding schedule very carefully so you feed her before she leaves. That way she doesn't get hungry while she's out. Yeah. Otherwise, if she gets hungry while she's out and she's crying, your brain just shuts down. Yeah. You you don't know what to do, right?

SPEAKER_00 16:28

Because she doesn't take the bottle as well.

SPEAKER_01 16:30

Yeah, and when she cries, she cries like her lungs are about to come out of her throat. It's crazy. It's crazy. Yeah, it is crazy.

SPEAKER_00 16:39

All just signs of a new parent, even at our age. Like you would assume at our age, becoming a parent, like we have all the information just because we're at what I'm 36, you're 40.

Quran Studies Plans And Podcast Next Steps

SPEAKER_01 16:50

I'm sure the people listening who are parents are thinking, like, okay, these guys didn't know all this stuff. But yeah, I mean this is us.

SPEAKER_00 16:59

Yeah. Another update I'd like to share with you guys is that I'm going back to school in September, inshallah. I will be studying the Nalim of the Quran. And that is that is the structure, the connections between different ayat and different surahs and why did this ayah come before that ayah? What is the connection between ayah number 58 in Surah Baqarah and ayah number 117 in Surah Al-Imran? Like I'm just throwing out numbers. Right. So that's a dream come true, alhamdulillah.

SPEAKER_01 17:30

Yeah. And I I do want to add something to that, which is I feel personally this is a topic that doesn't get much attention. Absolutely. Right? Like a lot of people just focus on tafsir and the the literal translation, but there is also beauty in the structure of the Quran. Absolutely. Right. And Usad No Man from Bayina, he actually comments on this a lot that there is in the Quran symmetry. There is in the Quran um you know the design uh of the surahs is something that is to be marveled.

SPEAKER_00 18:00

The the ring theory, he calls it. So uh what's his name? Um Hamid Din al-Farahi, uh, which is an Indian scholar. He was the first to talk about the ring theory, how uh surahs they form a ring. Like if you look at the ayat of the surah, they just like you said, asymmetry. I don't think he got to go through the entire Quran and explain this. But just the fact that the order of the ayat, that's not random. And uh I feel so privileged privileged, alhamdulillah, that I got accepted into this PhD program to study this this uh topic that hasn't been studied much. So that's a new update, and you will be taking some time off work to become a stay-at-home dad.

SPEAKER_01 18:47

Yes, I'll be taking parental leave for a little bit too um to yeah, to help with Leila. Um but uh uh the one thing that I want to add is that every time we dive into an Islamic topic, alhamdulillah, I'm very fortunate to have you on board with your background to be able to pick your brain and make sure that everything I'm talking about is accurate, everything is in line with the Quran and the Sunnah. So we're very careful, especially when we talk about Islamic related topics, that um you know everything is correct. To the best of our knowledge. To the best of our knowledge. Um and so, yeah, as a reminder, Hiba has her bachelor's in Sharia, master's in tafsir, and then inshallah pursuing her PhD in theology.

SPEAKER_00 19:26

Uh well, the the umbrella uh topic is theology.

SPEAKER_01 19:30

Right, right. Let's talk a little bit about our plans moving forward. Yeah. Um, so of course, as you guys can imagine, the kind of workload we have right now with the newborn. So doing a doing an episode every week is going to be very difficult. So we will be transitioning towards bi-weekly episodes. And for now, we will be continuing to do topics related to single Muslims, um, finding a compatible partner. And uh let's give a little teaser about our next episode. What we will what will we be diving into?

SPEAKER_00 19:59

So, inshaAllah, next episode, two weeks from today, we will be talking about marriage contracts.

SPEAKER_01 20:04

Nikkah contracts.

SPEAKER_00 20:06

What should be there, what is uh obligatory, what is optional?

SPEAKER_01 20:11

What rights do you have as a woman? What rights do you have as a man? What conditions can you put? What conditions can you not put? Yeah. Um and so, yeah, as you can imagine, there's going to be some research going into that, but we're gonna come prepared, and I'm gonna come prepared with my long list of questions for you. Okay, and uh yeah, I'm looking forward to that. That's been a topic that's been on my mind for some time.

SPEAKER_00 20:29

Yeah. So if you guys have uh certain questions around that topic, feel free to email us at info at halalmatch.ca and we'll do our best to answer your questions next next episode, inshallah.

SPEAKER_01 20:39

Yeah, and uh for any of you listeners that are parents, feel free, feel free to give us some advice. Yeah. Uh what to look out for, what to be mindful of. We're always uh open to hearing from our listeners.

SPEAKER_00 20:50

What mistakes not to make?

SPEAKER_01 20:52

Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 20:52

What mistakes can we afford to make?

SPEAKER_01 20:54

Yeah, the one thing that everybody tells us is to enjoy these uh moments, especially in like the first few months, because they go by very quickly. Yeah, well, until next time then.

SPEAKER_00 21:05

I guess.

SPEAKER_01 21:06

Alright, as salamu alaykum.